i’m really into the idea of humiliating and publicly shaming men who behave badly towards women. i would like to think that i’m out of the bitter, angry phase of becoming enlightened, but i’m totally not, and i feel like part of being femme for me is being a destroyer, being angry, being full of sharp teeth. like a frilly, lacy trap. come on, dickholes. tell me to smile. i’ll open you up and choke you with your intestines.
10 BETTER BODY AFFIRMATIONS FOR YOUNG WOMEN
1. Your body is in flux for the rest of your life. Think of your body as fluid instead of static — it’s always going to change. So get comfortable with those changes.
2. No one will love you or not love you because of your body. You are lovable because you’re you, not because your body looks a certain way.
3. The most intensely personal relationship you’ll ever have is with your body. It’s a lifelong relationship that’s well worth investing in and nurturing the same way you would with loved ones.
4. You don’t owe your body to anyone. Not sexually, not aesthetically. Your body is yours. Period.
5. What someone else says about your body says more about them than it does about you. Look past the actual snark to the person who’s saying it, because it’s only a reflection of what they think of themselves. That’s when you’ll see how little power their words have.
6. Your body is not a reflection of your character. It’s a physical home for the complex and wondrous and unique being that is you.
7. Take up as much space as you want. You don’t have to be small, or quiet, or docile, regardless of your physical size.
8. Everything you need to accept your body is already inside you. There’s no book, or diet, or workout routine or external affirmation that you need to feel good about your body right now.
9. Your body is a priority. It’s always trying to tell you things. Taking the time to listen to is of the utmost importance.
10. Wear whatever you want. Your body shape does not dictate your personal style, and fashion rules that say otherwise are wrong. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel happy and confident and beautiful, because guess what? You are.
today my anxiety feels like 300 pounds of concrete on the top of my sternum; no matter how hard i try to catch my breath, my lungs can only breathe so deep.
This is the most spot on description of how I feel about rape jokes I’ve seen.
Last night I got a foot reflexology treatment for my feet here in Seattle, and my masseuse bundled me up like a toasty warm fuzz burrito. She touched my feet with the bones of her knuckles, in the spaces where I am rarely touched. The sensation of release and attention to those tight, emotional spaces of my body bring tears, sometimes. Sometimes I get scared and I feel a lot of pain. Sometimes I find myself in really dark mental holes, thinking about worthlessness. These storage / release cycles of mine are just like the rest of my mind — intense if not properly managed.
I got massages frequently while traveling in Asia — my shoulders hurt all the time, my neck had an incurable crick, my feet felt like raw tension wrapped in thick plaster, both incredibly painful and hardened beyond access. These massages were momentary relief found in constant movement and pain.
Traveling alone and traveling extensively can often mean a drought of touch and intimacy. I kissed a few kind souls while I was abroad, held a few hands, but these experiences of companionship were cut short and small by my constant movement, or by the movement of the other. Always a train to catch, for one or the other. Anyway, I was more interested in the depth of intimacy I had waiting for me on the other side of the world at the end of my trip.
I spent long weeks in my own company, in twin beds, without more than a quick hug from momentary friends. My whole body held itself in a permanent clench. My massages were the most intimate form of touching I received in months. I would get these treatments and feel bodily relief but not know what to do with the aftermath of fear, sadness, anxiety, and longing I felt — my very first massage in Australia left me so destitute that I cried on the train and slept the rest day in my dim hostel bunk.
I’ve since picked up on these patterns and learned how to manage them (better, certainly not perfectly), but today I am thinking about our bodies and how they hold so much. How tender I need to be with myself; how it’s okay to need care and love, and how it’s okay to ask for it from myself.
i miss the south because being a southerner means nostalgia is in my blood.
soooo much anxiety.